I strain my eyes to look into the desolate darkness . The cold wind rushes through the boughs and scatters the leaves with a musical rustle in this moon-bathed ambience. The flame of the lamp in my room wavers. My eyes do not see it.
My heart starts beating sullenly in a pool of memories. The scene in front of me dissolves like a phantom. The lamp extinguishes, the moon becomes dark and the wind stops. And then, there appears your striking face. And even before I could fathom it, my heart starts missing you.
I miss you. Even though I am not supposed to miss you on any grounds. For I do not know anything about you except a few scattered facts, do not even remember the texture of your voice, or even your height. Because to miss, one needs to know first.
But I still miss you, from the bottom of my heart. Because I want to miss you. I don’t know whether you would allow me to miss you. But if there is anything like the Language of souls, then I ask you to let me miss you. Hey stranger, am I not a fool to miss you? And hey, did you ever spare a thought, even the minutest fraction of second for me .
I feel bad at the situation I am in and then I realise that I need to miss you. Cause that brings to my heart a very cruel and bitter happiness, that is studded with hopelessness and hope. I miss you because I cannot do anything else about this,or rather because I do not want to do any thing else.
The aquiline nose, that reminds me so much of Count Dracula and of course the piercing eyes above it are a land mark of beautiful places in my dreams.I dream. And I dream with a great fear. I fear that I will never know you well. And if by any grace of God I do, what the outcome will be. The crux is that I miss you.
I want to break out of this boring,stupid, monotonous,illogical, hindered, fearsome,uncouth, segmented, asocial, soul-less, blind, and dumb to human voices and numb social order. It makes me go into a destructive fit with a want to clutch something in my hands and tear and break and shear and beat and punch and burn and destroy. My heart and brain revolt against my body, which does not at all help to vent off their feelings but just keeps writing this letter uselessly. The eyes long for tears and of course your face.
I want to break down all fences, walls ,borders ,buildings ,mounts ,rituals ,conventions,formalities, or any thing that stands between me and you ,such that I have you in front of me. Because I miss you.